Counselling

Counseling- the art of calming the mind

Counseling can be defined in many ways. It can be called guidance by an expert, a face to face communication by which you help the person to solve a problem or make the decision. All of it comes down to calming the turbulence in the mind.

Whenever a person decides to approach a counselor, it is an implicit acceptance of the fact that his mind is too muddled to decipher the problem and get to a solution. Whether the problem is real or just a construct of an over imaginative mind, it leads to needless suffering which takes away the feeling of wellbeing in a person. Without a sense of wellbeing no amount of wealth or physical comforts can make us happy. In fact, all the struggles that we go through to educate ourselves, get a job, become financially independent, build a social network, raise a family is an effort to reach that elusive place of happiness. However, it remains a pursuit. Our life conditions rarely meet the blue print we have for happiness. Even the moments of great happiness are fleeting, like wisps of cloud, gone before we can feel and cherish. Man probably discovered painting and photography in an effort to capture those fleeting moments and hold them a bit longer. On the other hand pain seems to be made of the strongest adhesive. It rarely ever leaves us. A passing thought, a particular smell, or a picture, is more than enough to bring back all the pain that we had suffered. The dark emotions of the mind have great hold on us. Our mind finds it easier to slip into pain and suffering than be in a state of happiness which seems uphill. Is happiness worth pursuing? Can we ever be totally happy all the time? While happiness seems like a distant star, a relatively calm mind is something we can work on. Deweeding our mind of troubling emotions might be a good place to start the process.

Aging, positive life experiences, meeting people, reading self help books, listening to people talk about their experiences, travelling, listening to good music  meditating ,all of these help in calming our minds. While all of these are done mostly by one self, counseling is one thing which involves another person who tries to help you. Counseling has been happening for ages even before the term was coined. Elders, teachers, mystics, all of them have been counseling. Professional counseling has made it more standardized.

Professional counseling brings with it a much needed structure, a purposeful utilization of time, and monetary compensation which leads to better accountability from both the client and the counselor. Various methods and techniques of counseling are used to get the best result. Non directive methods ( rogerian, CBT, play therapy, art therapy, EFT) work well in some people while directive methods like REBT, Logotherapy, directive play therapy and directive art therapy help others. Person centric approach always works better than trying to force fit a client into a method which we feel is the best.

Having a therapist is a unique healing experience. You get to share a piece of your life with another person who is committed to help you. The therapeutic relationship is a sacred one. Revealing your deepest thoughts and worries to another person requires a level of trust that is unparalleled. Empathic understanding with honest assessment of the problem makes you feel heard and held. Narration of the problem also brings an emotional distance which will help you see the problem with clarity.

Techniques like CBT, EFT, REBT will lead to a cognitive shift. While no one can solve a problem or undo the pain of a traumatic experience, the energy or the charge of the emotions can be reduced. The factual memory remains while the emotional memory disappears. Calmness follows. Energy channels get unclogged and a sense of well being ensues. A feeling of empowerment will make us feel in charge of our lives.

Counseling truly is a wonderful therapy worth trying.